Despair

 

 

DESPAIR

 

Despair is a very

Curious word with many

Ways to describe it.

 

Most people know it

As a sense of great sorrow,

But there is much more.

 

When sorrow mixes

With fear, it goes far beyond

A simple feeling.

 

Sorrow is merely

The foundation for despair

Awaiting more issues.

 

All it takes is a

Few tears without a shoulder

For despair’s entry.

 

If there’s no one to

Hear us cry, we often can’t

Stop for a long time.

 

Once the first wave of

Tears falls from our eyes, the

Bright world grows dimmer.

 

We try not to cry

In public in case we’re seen

As being hopeless.

 

Once sorrow finds us,

It can be hard to control

How long we can cry.

 

Some tears are built up

Over time and want to come

Out no matter what.

 

If there is no one

To help us grieve, we can’t feel

Whole without a friend.

 

Sometimes the fear of

Not being normal can lead

To greater darkness.

 

The world can be a

Scary place and not knowing

What’s next is torture.

 

We always have a

Few issues that hang over

Us at all times.

 

The last thing we want

Is to make whatever much

Worse without trying.

 

No matter what we

Do, there will always be more

Problems to plague us.

 

Even if nothing bad

Happens one day, this is the

Calm before the storm.

 

Our lives are meant

To change and often, it’s not

Without many bumps.

 

Not everyone has

A great life and it’s hard to

See others smile.

 

The constant barrage

Of cheer can increase all the

Great power of dread.

 

There will always be

Those who can be happy no

Matter what happens.

 

Even if the world

Is on the verge of collapse

These people smile.

 

All that positive

Energy becomes a swift

Poison with no cure.

 

Happiness must be

Shared in moderation or

It’s too much for most.

 

With so much fear and

Sorrow in the past, it’s hard

To see the future.

 

The shadows born from

Not being happy stretch far

Past the horizon.

 

In this dark Future,

We live in fear of being

Not worthy of joy.

 

As we try to make

Today better, we can’t dwell

On the horrid past.

 

Tomorrow is yet

Another test to see if

We can try again.

 

Some barely pass their

Tests and the dread causes too

Many grim repeats.

 

All we can do is

Endure for however long

It takes to find light.

 

Despair can come from

Happiness too and it leaves

A very deep wound.

 

Whenever we meet

Someone who makes us happy,

We feel amazing.

 

After so long in

The dark, we can finally

See the distant light.

 

Being with those who

Make us smile is good, but

When apart, it’s bad.

 

Not knowing when the

Next meeting will be can Make

The darkness return.

 

All the gloom seems to

Be greater as the taste of

The light never lasts.

 

We try to find out

More about our friends and

Often get nothing.

 

This vast period

Of waiting can make it hard

To recall the light.

 

This isolation

Gives rise to a series of

Difficult questions.

 

What did we do wrong

To not have the comfort of

Once the happy friends?

 

Why must we be left

Alone while others have too

Many friends to spare?

 

How can we find a

Way to be remembered if

Memories cause pain?

 

When will get the chance

To see the light again and

How long will it last?

 

Hope is the secret

Ingredient to fight off

Despair, yet It’s tough.

 

Without wearing a

Smile for a long time, where

Do we find the strength?

 

If we feel like there’s

No way out of the abyss,

Where do we go Next?

 

After living in

The dark, can we remember

What light really is?

 

Hope fades easily

So, making it last can be

A massive Challenge.

 

Once hope loses its

Power, despair takes center

Stage to command all.

 

We all need something

To fight for, yet we often

Fear a new battle.

 

If we’ve had many

Failures, we feel that trying

Again is pointless.

 

All the defeats can

Hang over us like vultures

Waiting for the end.

 

Can humans avoid

Despair by themselves if most

Have lost many friends?

 

Will despair be a

Shackle for the future or

Will we find relief?

 

Can we find the key

To salvation when fate puts

Chains on everything?

 

Despair is a grim

Part of living, however

We still Keep going.

 

 

Some people feel that

They are too broken to be

Fixed for the future.

 

Ample damage with

Little time to heal leaves the

Broken without hope.

 

Without a reason

To keep all the pieces, the chance

To mend is distant.

 

If everyone else

Appears to be without fault,

Our cracks increase.

 

Some people can hide

Their pain better, but often

Don’t share the secret.

 

Unless others know

Someone isn’t perfect, they

Feel worse around them.

 

All the positive

Personas are sadly forced

Upon the damaged.

 

This makes it harder

To smile in public and

Despair reigns supreme,

 

This sounds horrible,

But this is how I live my

Meager existence.

 

My problem with life

Is that I feel I never

Belong anywhere.

 

Most people I meet

Seem to have a surplus of

cheerful Energy.

 

This doesn’t mix well

With my despair, causing a

Lot of inner pain.

 

I’m always afraid

That I will ruin the lives

Of everyone else.

 

Seeing the immense

Joy in others makes me feel

Insignificant.

 

Most of the time I

Avoid talking to people

As I can’t relate.

 

My life isn’t too

Exciting or filled with

Important events.

 

Not being able

To share stories leaves me in

The dismal background.

 

It gets worse when one

Person truly wants to share

Their amazing light.

 

After residing

In the dark for so long

This light is painful.

 

Getting too close to

Anyone way too happy

Makes me want to flee.

 

Such an action brings

Forth the sadness that tightens

Despair’s horrid grip.

 

While I want

To find comfort in others,

It comes with issues.

 

Most of the people

Who I trust the most can’t be

With me all the time.

 

Daily routines mixed

With great distances make it

difficult to meet.

 

Even if we can

Find time together, all i

Have is sad stories.

 

Such burdens increase

My anxiety to the point

I can’t move from fear.

 

Sure, there are a few

Who look out for me, yet i

Feel it’s not the best.

 

Most people around

Me provide support out of

 Strange obligation.

 

Such people aren’t my

Friends as they never try to

Learn more about me.

 

Life does get in the

Way, but a few minutes

really means the world.

 

Even if the stories

Aren’t too happy, it proves that

No one is perfect.

 

Whenever someone

Tries to get close with too much,

It makes me nervous.

 

Sometimes I can hold

It together long enough

To find some solace.

 

All others are just

Sycophants who make me feel

Terrible and scared.

 

Whoever wanted

Me to make a new friend has

No clue of my fear.

 

Unless someone takes

Their time to share stories dark

And light, I feel bad.

 

It gets worse when a

Person smiles too much at

Me without real joy.

 

All the false sweetness

Just rubs a lot of salt

In old, fragile wounds.

 

Some people try to

Be sweet when others are close,

But this hides the salt.

 

I need potential

Friends to be neutral in case

Life hadn’t been kind.

 

The last thing I want

Is for someone to brag they

Were great all the time.

 

Unless I hear about

Sorrow and anger, I can’t

Trust any new face.

 

Such actions make me

Want to avoid making new

Friends for protection.

 

 

Sadly, most of my

Pain comes from having a few

loving friends in life.

 

the pain comes from not

being able to make them

happy every day.

 

I’m not always in

The best mood and don’t want to

Share my misery.

 

Any positive

Support often causes me

To feel uneasy.

 

If I can’t return

The favor, the pain grows as

Others do the same.

 

the best people i

care about sadly inflict

the greatest of pain.

 

These people believe

In me, but I often have

Limited triumphs.

 

If no one requires

My talents, I don’t feel like

I was at my best.

 

Proving that I found

My way in life means so much,

Yet I often fail.

 

Such failures make me

Feel that I let down all those

Who gladly helped me.

 

If I can’t face my

Friends with pride, then despair still

Has its great power.

 

 

While the darkness may

Not be the best, the shadows

Have their benefits.

 

I can hide far from

Those who don’t bring me joy and

Use my words to help.

 

The promise of a

Blank document means I can

Start from scratch and purge.

 

Some words need to be

Released and if others can

Relate, joy returns.

 

If one person can

Find something in my word, i

Finally feel joy.

 

 

 

All I can say

 is sorry for being a

big disappointment.

 

I guess I wasn’t

Meant to reside in the light

With my dearest friends.

 

Some people are just

Meant to remain in the dark,

Hoping others win.

 

Despair controls too

Many, but I hope you can

Find and keep your light.